Korean Funerals

In this episode, we explore the emotional and cultural significance of Korean funeral rites, as seen through the lens of a recent family funeral. From the preparation and altar arrangements to the mourning rituals and final burial, we cover the detailed process that many families experience. Whether you’re curious about the customs or looking for an etiquette guide for attending a funeral in Korea, this episode provides valuable insights into how Korean society honors the deceased and supports grieving families.

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Credits

Produced by Joe McPherson and Shawn Morrissey

Music by Soraksan

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Book a tour of The Dark Side of Seoul Ghost Walk at https://darksideofseoul.com

Credits

Produced by Joe McPherson and Shawn Morrissey

Music by Soraksan

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A Deep Dive into Korean Funerals: Customs, Rituals, and Etiquette

Korean funeral rites are deeply rooted in tradition, and attending or understanding these ceremonies can often be overwhelming, especially for those unfamiliar with the customs. Having recently attended a family funeral, I wanted to share some of the steps involved, from the preparations to the burial, along with the meanings behind various customs. This post also serves as a guide to understanding the etiquette if you ever find yourself at a Korean funeral.

Before the Funeral

The process begins when a family member’s passing is imminent. In the case I recently witnessed, we were informed that the elder would pass within hours. The next challenge was finding a funeral home, which turned out to be more difficult than expected, as most were fully booked. Eventually, we found one in far west Seoul, which provided a quasi-private room with an altar space, a dining area, and helpers to assist with food preparation for family and visitors.

Funeral Preparations

The funeral altar is prepared with the deceased’s photo, flower wreaths (white mums), food offerings (fruits, sweets, nuts, and alcohol), incense, and candles. Traditional mourning clothes, known as seongbok, are worn by the family—women in black hanboks and men in black suits. Stripes on these garments indicate the mourner’s relationship to the deceased.

During the Funeral

On the first day (Ipshil), visitors arrive at the funeral home and offer money, followed by incense offerings. Traditionally, incense serves to ward off evil spirits and draw the deceased’s spirit closer. Christian visitors, however, refrain from offering incense and instead pray. Food offerings are also made, and the family stays awake to receive guests, often enduring discomfort as a part of their mourning process.

The Second Day: Viewing the Deceased

On the second day (Ipgwan), only close family enters the room to view the deceased. This private moment often includes speaking to the deceased, offering final words of love or apology. The undertaker wraps the deceased’s body and places it in the coffin, and the family writes the deceased’s name on the coffin.

The Third Day: The Procession and Burial

The third day (Bal-in) involves the final funeral procession. Early in the morning, the family leaves the funeral home, and the coffin is placed in a hearse. Depending on the family’s preference, the deceased may be taken to either a cemetery for a natural burial or to a crematorium. The family follows, and once the cremation or burial is complete, the family may return to the funeral home or gather at a designated location for a final meal.

Post-Funeral Traditions

Once the ceremony concludes, it’s customary for the mourners to return to the family home or a restaurant to rest and reflect. While the funeral process is deeply sorrowful, the community’s participation plays a pivotal role in comforting the grieving family.

Key Takeaways for Attendees

If you’re attending a Korean funeral, be aware that participation in certain rituals, such as bowing, offering incense, or contributing financially, is expected. Make sure to wear appropriate mourning attire, typically black, and be respectful throughout the entire process. Also, it’s important to remember that each family may have their own variations, so it’s always best to observe and follow the guidance of the chief mourner (sangju) or other family members.

Korean funerals are an emotionally and culturally rich tradition that honors the deceased and provides support for the living. Understanding these rituals helps create a more respectful and empathetic environment for those going through the grieving process.